Saturday, October 13, 2012
Kickoff Time for Boise State vs Fresno State RIGHT NOW
In honor of the kickoff that is happening right about now I think it only appropriate to share Coach Pete's starring role in Gangnam Style, a new spoof created by a Bronco fan a couple days ago. Assuming BSU truly kicks the butts of Fresno State, then folks can talk about a BCS possible berth if all the stars align and the world doesn't end under the Mayan Calendar come December.
Monday, September 10, 2012
What recap?
My Dad always taught me a "recap" was a tire. Not attire. A tire. Some weird toothless Bubba people who couldn't afford to drink beer but drank rhubarb wine out of antifreeze bottles hung out and recapped tires. That doesn't mean they sat and around and talked about how tires went around. No, they put whole new condoms on the tires.
But, I digress. You see, we are about to recap this weekend'a foot brawl action here in this here so-called blog post. We can't put no condom on a bunch of pricks but we can at least try to put the rubber to the road as we recap a kettle of fishy football.
First, let's take those total losers in Arizona. Why do they exist? Who could possibly think they would win in Weak One? If ever there was such a thing as wasn't supposed to happen it was Arizona beating Seattle. The freaking Seahawks had the game in a bag and then let the cat out of the bag and the birds won. It was disgusting. Based on what we saw and read, it was a fluke not soon to be repeated and the Cards will lose out at least to the BYE week.
We had to admit how stupid we are but we thought BYE was a cousin to BYU. Kinda of like BY East or something.
Purdue lost to Notta Dame. Actually, they coulda, shoulda, might, maybe, oughta, probably sort of maybe won but, of course the score doesn't lie and they lost. That's always what a good Alumni does, use all those words as you see above and make stupid, lame excuses which everyone who knows football laughs at. Everybody knew Purdue was going to lose to Notre Dame and it was not a surprise except to any deluded dumb ass alumni who lives in a temporary fantasy land with no contact with reality.
BYU varnished Weber State. By now, they are thinking they are Good. WHOA! Do they have a surprise or what--they will probably lose at least two out of the three next games if not run the table and lose them all. Worthless is what BYU is this year and the first two games have given them a false sense of empowerment.
Well, Da Bears smacked down Da Colts. Imagine that. That's what happens when you draft Luck instead of Skill.
Meanwhile Skill RG3 won his first game and helped a bunch of really stupid people think his $100-million salary was actually a good deal. That's what happens to people who live inside The Beltway. They check their brains at the Beltway and become total morons. RG3 will come back down to reality next week and actually look like a mere mortal. Both Luck and Skill are destined to finish the season with their tails firmly between their high paid legs.
Speaking of luck, as I write this I see the San Diego Dolts lucked out and go to the halftime locker room leading the (Cr)Oakland Faders 10-6. It's only because that Pole-Lock Cretin Sebastian Janikowski kicked a chip shot field goal with 7 seconds left. Janikowski would be home eating worms if he wasn't so freaking good. You can click here to read about why he is the highest paid kicked in NFL history but has also skated really close to being a two-bit felon in your county jail.
There's a lot more foot brawl we need to talk about but I am going to bed now. Many Cheers, Johnny Montezuma.
But, I digress. You see, we are about to recap this weekend'a foot brawl action here in this here so-called blog post. We can't put no condom on a bunch of pricks but we can at least try to put the rubber to the road as we recap a kettle of fishy football.
First, let's take those total losers in Arizona. Why do they exist? Who could possibly think they would win in Weak One? If ever there was such a thing as wasn't supposed to happen it was Arizona beating Seattle. The freaking Seahawks had the game in a bag and then let the cat out of the bag and the birds won. It was disgusting. Based on what we saw and read, it was a fluke not soon to be repeated and the Cards will lose out at least to the BYE week.
We had to admit how stupid we are but we thought BYE was a cousin to BYU. Kinda of like BY East or something.
Purdue lost to Notta Dame. Actually, they coulda, shoulda, might, maybe, oughta, probably sort of maybe won but, of course the score doesn't lie and they lost. That's always what a good Alumni does, use all those words as you see above and make stupid, lame excuses which everyone who knows football laughs at. Everybody knew Purdue was going to lose to Notre Dame and it was not a surprise except to any deluded dumb ass alumni who lives in a temporary fantasy land with no contact with reality.
BYU varnished Weber State. By now, they are thinking they are Good. WHOA! Do they have a surprise or what--they will probably lose at least two out of the three next games if not run the table and lose them all. Worthless is what BYU is this year and the first two games have given them a false sense of empowerment.
Well, Da Bears smacked down Da Colts. Imagine that. That's what happens when you draft Luck instead of Skill.
Meanwhile Skill RG3 won his first game and helped a bunch of really stupid people think his $100-million salary was actually a good deal. That's what happens to people who live inside The Beltway. They check their brains at the Beltway and become total morons. RG3 will come back down to reality next week and actually look like a mere mortal. Both Luck and Skill are destined to finish the season with their tails firmly between their high paid legs.
Speaking of luck, as I write this I see the San Diego Dolts lucked out and go to the halftime locker room leading the (Cr)Oakland Faders 10-6. It's only because that Pole-Lock Cretin Sebastian Janikowski kicked a chip shot field goal with 7 seconds left. Janikowski would be home eating worms if he wasn't so freaking good. You can click here to read about why he is the highest paid kicked in NFL history but has also skated really close to being a two-bit felon in your county jail.
There's a lot more foot brawl we need to talk about but I am going to bed now. Many Cheers, Johnny Montezuma.
Ducks Smoking Pot?
Well, according to a recent ESPN/Faux News Story, the University of Oregon is going to start random drug testing their football team for marijuana. Gee just because 19 players interviewed in the past said that at least half the team smokes pot regularly shouldn't lead to drug testing. I mean, what is the University thinking? Reefer doesn't contribute to performance enhancement. It just relaxes the team so they can be more cosmic and self actualized than, say, the Colorado Buffs, who live in the most cosmic and self actualized University town in the Rockies, Boulder. And Ducks are probably better at using water bongs than a Buffalo, but I digress. No, I think they are going to drug test Oregons FB team because someone ont he team that said at least half the team smoke pot regularly missed out on some really good toking and is a vengeful SOB who needs to smoke more pot and cool his jets. Gee, what a surprise. I mean, it is Oregon. Oregon is the first state to legalize medical marijuana. Just cause the players didn't get a medical marijuana license shouldn't subject them to random drug testing. But alas, if they don't pass the test they'll get counseling. I hope what they get is some brownies and microwave popcorn to ward off the munchies and some Deschutes Black Butte Porter to go with it.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Boise State Broncos Lose Season Opener
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Well, Boise State dropped their opener to Michigan State. It was the first time in recent history they'd lost an opening season game. With Joe Shoemaker at the Quarterback position this year he had some big shoes to fill. Joe, to his credit, stepped up to the plate. Unfortunately the anemic Broncos offense appeared to have taken valium only moments prior to setting foot on the field. They just never could seem to move down the field more than a few feet, resulting in several missed opportunities to score a touchdown. Worse yet, was when they did get a receiver in place they either were short on the catch or simply out of range for Joe's throws. Still, Southwick never got sacked and the Defense played a strong game. With only a handful of returning starters the Broncos are in the unenviable position of rebuilding after losing the likes of Kellen Moore at Quarterback and Doug Martin, the unstoppable bulldog.
Michigan State was in the same boat as the Broncos. The Spartans had a new quarterback and their O-line was led by a one man showboat named Bell. This one man wrecking machine is what kept the Spartans in the game and the Broncos out of reach of an opening win. With all the turnovers by the Spartans, the Broncos squandered several chances to score.
Fortunately for the Broncos they now have a kicker. Actually, two. And those field goals are what kept the favorite "Sister of the Poor" in the game. Next up Miami of Ohio after an unfortunate snooze fest bye week. Who does this scheduling? A bye week after one game? Come on, football schedulers. That is as lame as it gets. Except maybe when BSU takes on BYU. Then the two amigos will duke it out here on Flag Football.
09/04/2012
08/31/2012
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