What recap?

My Dad always taught me a "recap" was a tire.  Not attire.  A tire.  Some weird toothless Bubba people who couldn't afford to drink beer but drank rhubarb wine out of antifreeze bottles hung out and recapped tires.  That doesn't mean they sat and around and talked about how tires went around.  No, they put whole new condoms on the tires.

But, I digress.  You see, we are about to recap this weekend'a foot brawl action here in this here so-called blog post.  We can't put no condom on a bunch of pricks but we can at least try to put the rubber to the road as we recap a kettle of fishy football.

First, let's take those total losers in Arizona.  Why do they exist?  Who could possibly think they would win in Weak One?  If ever there was such a thing as wasn't supposed to happen it was Arizona beating Seattle.  The freaking Seahawks had the game in a bag and then let the cat out of the bag and the birds won.  It was disgusting.  Based on what we saw and read, it was a fluke not soon to be repeated and the Cards will lose out at least to the BYE week.

We had to admit how stupid we are but we thought BYE was a cousin to BYU.  Kinda of like BY East or something.

Purdue lost to Notta Dame.  Actually, they coulda, shoulda, might, maybe, oughta, probably sort of maybe won but, of course the score doesn't lie and they lost.  That's always what a good Alumni does, use all those words as you see above and make stupid, lame excuses which everyone who knows football laughs at.  Everybody knew Purdue was going to lose to Notre Dame and it was not a surprise except to any deluded dumb ass alumni who lives in a temporary fantasy land with no contact with reality.

BYU varnished Weber State.  By now, they are thinking they are Good.  WHOA!  Do they have a surprise or what--they will probably lose at least two out of the three next games if not run the table and lose them all.  Worthless is what BYU is this year and the first two games have given them a false sense of empowerment.

Well, Da Bears smacked down Da Colts.  Imagine that.  That's what happens when you draft Luck instead of Skill.

Meanwhile Skill RG3 won his first game and helped a bunch of really stupid people think his $100-million salary was actually a good deal.  That's what happens to people who live inside The Beltway.  They check their brains at the Beltway and become total morons.  RG3 will come back down to reality next week and actually look like a mere mortal.  Both Luck and Skill are destined to finish the season with their tails firmly between their high paid legs.

 Speaking of luck, as I write this I see the San Diego Dolts lucked out and go to the halftime locker room leading the (Cr)Oakland Faders 10-6.  It's only because that Pole-Lock Cretin Sebastian Janikowski kicked a chip shot field goal with 7 seconds left.  Janikowski would be home eating worms if he wasn't so freaking good.  You can click here to read about why he is the highest paid kicked in NFL history but has also skated really close to being a two-bit felon in your county jail.

There's a lot more foot brawl we need to talk about but I am going to bed now.  Many Cheers, Johnny Montezuma.